Only 20,466 More Days

Bill and June Sharp have been married for 22,046 days. For those of you who vowed to give up math after your last Algebra class in high school, that's over 60 years of bliss. I had the amazing privilege of leading my sweet grandparents in the renewing of their vows last summer as they celebrated their amazing accomplishment. It was a great day!

Ashley and I are quickly approaching our fourth anniversary. I have so much to learn about this marriage thing, but I do know that it's a good thing...a really good thing.

In fact, I believe marriage is one of God's greatest gifts to us. My life has become indescribably richer since the day Ashley walked down the aisle and met me at the altar. We were floating on cloud nine, and our faces could barely contain our smiles as we stood before God, family, and friends and declared our lifetime vows to one another. If that wasn't amazing enough, the next day we were on a flight to the Caribbean for our honeymoon.

I had to pinch myself to make sure this wasn't a dream. Was I really going to one of the most beautiful places on the planet with the most beautiful woman on the planet? Was I really going to get to stare at this "hot blonde" in a bikini all week? Was this really legal now? Of course it was legal, we were married. God pronounced it all good. I could feel the sting of the pinch. This was a reality.

Speaking of reality, anybody who has been married for more than two weeks knows that reality sets in. Marriage is not a continual honeymoon that two people enjoy until death does them part. Far, far from it. The honeymoon beach bodies don't last forever; neither does the feeling of pure giddiness. Developing and enjoying a healthy marriage is one of the biggest challenges that a man and woman will face. It's certainly not for the faint of heart.

The honeymoon was certainly surreal. So was the first time I found myself sleeping on the couch--for all of about 2 hours--until we made things right. As those first days began to become a memory, I realized that marriage was indeed a blessing--sometimes a blessing in disguise. Disagreement happens. Fights happen. Hearts can grow hard. The walls can be quick to appear. Couples can find themselves in a rut that is hard to pull out of. However, as long as Christ is alive, there is hope.

Ashley and I went on a date tonight, and it was one of the most enjoyable dates I've ever had. It was extremely simple, but extremely rich. As we drove to Chipotle, I said a quick prayer and invited God into the evening. I simply acknowledged His presence and asked him to make it a rich evening. He's good at answering simple prayers.

We sat on barstool type chairs, looking out on a busy sidewalk in downtown Colorado Springs. When I was able to pry my eyes away from this "hot blonde" sitting next to me, I enjoyed the perfect view of the sun setting over Pikes Peak. We flirted, laughed, talked, people watched, and enjoyed being together. It was--well, a RICH date!

A few hours before the date, Ashley and I both agreed to ask God what He wanted to say to the other person. After all, God is a Father. What father doesn't like to speak to his children? As Ashley was doing her hair in the bathroom, she asked God what He wanted to say to me. Meanwhile, I sat at the kitchen table with a pen in hand and asked God what He wanted to say to His daughter. Later at Chipotle, we shared with each other what we believed God was saying. It was anything but ordinary. It was deeply refreshing. It was a result of simply inviting God into an ordinary date.

Don't get me wrong, we're not about to write a marriage book. I have more to learn than I have to offer. My grandparents should write a marriage book. My parents, who will be celebrating their 35th anniversary this year, should write a book. That's not where we're at right now. But, we have stumbled upon a few things that have really helped us thus far.

First of all, we try and remember who is on our side. It's easy to forget that the creator of the Universe is in your corner. God is the biggest fan of your marriage. He created romance--you should have seen the sun setting over the peak--and He wants you to experience abundant life in your marriage more than anyone, including you. When you turn to God, you are opening the door for Him to pour life into your marriage. It doesn't matter how far off track you may think you are. He is still as committed as ever to lead you and your spouse into the marriage He dreamt of when He brought you together. He has the road map. He has the ideas. Your responsibility is to open the door to Him, and then trust what He is telling you to do. It may seem impossible, but as one of my favorite verses states: "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we can think of or imagine according to His power that is at work within us..." (Ephesians 3:20). It requires faith, but then again, isn't it impossible to please God without faith? The more you are committed to pleasing Him, the more you will see the transformation happen in your marriage.

Secondly, we try and enjoy one another. It's easy to fall into a mundane and boring routine where we end up simply cohabitating together as we share a roof, a bed, and a toilet. It's easy to only relate to each other as the mom or dad of your children. We're learning the power and importance of intentionality. Marriage can be as boring or as enjoyable as Ashley and I choose to make it. God has given us a blank canvas and wants to help us create a masterpiece. His heart beats for us to create a marriage that reflects the love that Christ has for the church.

Lastly, we try and keep the "big picture" in front of us. Sure we're going to have many disagreements in the years to come. Sure we'll face temptations and accusations from the enemy. However, if we can be mindful of our "big picture" life goals--faithfulness to God and each other--it will be easier to forgive and easier to remain loyal in our marriage.

I think there's some truth to the old saying, "If you aim at nothing, you are sure to hit your target." My target is clear. In 56 years, I want to be holding hands with my "hot gray" wife while my grandson leads us in the renewing of our vows.

That will be a great day.

That will be a rich life.

Fixing Glass....and relationships.

Sometimes I have a tendency of procrastinating on certain projects that are going to cost hundreds of dollars. My old truck was nicknamed "Junior" (not exactly one of those trucks you see in television commercials pulling 737's behind it) and among other aesthetic flaws, it had a huge crack that ran the length of the windshield. It wasn't until the day of my first date with Ashley that I finally shelled out the money to get it replaced. Convincing her to date a man who drove a pick up named "Junior" was going to be a big enough challenge; the least I could do is pull up in a ride that had a window you could see out of.

Someday I believe I will drive a big ol' truck that I can be proud of. In the meantime, I am driving a four door Honda that is faithful in getting me from point A to point B. A crack started to appear on the windshield a few---ok, several months ago--and once again, I waited as long as I could to replace it. When I finally got around to calling the glass company, I was pleasantly suprised that they offered to come to my house to fix the glass. It was long overdue.

The technician showed up a few days ago, introduced himself with a smile and a warm handshake, and quickly began working. Thirty minutes into the project, I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door to see him standing there, smileless, and holding a copy of the initial agreement. "Is your car a '94 or '93?" he asked. I told him I thought it was a '94, and he quickly let me know I gave him the wrong information when we scheduled the appointment. He checked the VIN number to find out that the car was actually a '93. This minor blooper on my part meant he had the wrong windshield, and he was now going to have to drive all over town to find the correct one. Unfortunately, I just extended his workday by a few hours.

He was visibly frustrated, and I was embarassed. I knew I blew it. Typically, a particular windshield would fit consecutive years of vehicles, but in this instance, there happened to be a difference between the '93 and '94 windshields. We stood there staring at each other, in a bit of a showdown, and I found myself wrestling with whether or not I wanted to take responsibility. It's not hard to come up with excuses when you don't feel like apologizing. Did I really tell them the wrong year? Did they mess up by writing down the wrong year? No excuses. I messed up.

It was tough to look him in the eye and apologize for wasting so much of his time. It took some work, but I finally mustered the courage to take responsibility. The first part of the conversation was extremely awkward--until I apologized. As soon as he heard the words, "I'm sorry", his demeanor changed and it was as if I was talking to an entirely different person. He was very pleasant and gracious for the rest of the job--especially suprising considering that he was still working at 7pm (in the rain!) instead of being at home with his family.

"I'm sorry" is a powerful little phrase. Those two words have the capacity to pump life into a strained marriage, restore old friendships, and keep us in agreement with God. As a matter of fact, I can't think of a single negative result from saying "I'm sorry." Sure your pride takes a hit, but isn't that a good thing?

A cracked windshield usually starts with a simple chip. The more you ignore it, the more it grows and becomes increasingly visible. In my case, the chip turned into a major crack which spiderwebbed across the entire windshield leaving me little room to see. I put up with it for a long enough period of time that it eventually became the norm. Offence in relationships has a smiliar effect. Somebody will say something or do something that will serve as a "chip", and if it is not dealt with it will spread and eventually contaminate the entire relationship.

A few years ago, it became clear that God was asking me to make a phone call. I drug my feet and asked myself a few hundred times if it was really God. It was painfully obvious that God was in it, so I dialed the number. My heart was pounding as I waited for somebody to pick up on the other line. Just before I was about to bail and hang up, I heard a voice on the other end. Bummer. I was really going to have to go through with this after all. "Sorry, I have the wrong number" was not an option. I was calling to apologize for some hurtful things that I had written anonymously about another person from eight or nine years ago. God had not forgotten. He wanted me to make things right. I confessed to my wrong doing and apologized profusely. It was an incredibly healthy conversation where much grace was extended towards me. He even found time to encourage me in the midst of my apology.

I encourage you to take some time and reflect on your life and your relationships. Perhaps you've already been feeling uneasy as you've read this because you know what is coming! Is God asking you to apologize for anything? Is there something that you've done that God is wanting you to make right? Are there any friendships in your life that are currently strained? Have you been waiting for the other person to apologize? Are you caught in the cycle of replaying conversations over and over again in your mind? Have you allowed bitterness and unforgiveness to settle in your heart? I know the feeling; it's miserable.

There is a way out. There are greener pastures to enjoy. There is a better view. It starts with the courage and humility to speak a simple phrase from the heart. As you take this step, you'll see how God will meet you there. He'll help you. He'll be smiling the entire time. Your heart will breathe fresh life. The crack will disappear and you will be able to see clearly again.

I got in my car the following day, pulled away from the garage, and was suprised at how different the view was. I asked myself, "What took me so long to fix this?" I can actually see the road now.

Ashley Sandwich

I was surprised Ashley agreed to the proposition of going for a four wheeler ride last weekend. I was shocked when she agreed to allow Libby to come with us. It's not that my wife is afraid of four wheelers or dislikes dogs, but she is 8 months pregnant, and we were headed for an extremely bumpy country road.

My wife likes adventure--as long as she still feels pretty in the midst of it. I have learned that she has a subconscious scale that connects how much she enjoys a particular activity to how pretty she feels while participating. True story.

Don't get me wrong, Ashley is a tough gal. A few years ago, she finished the Las Vegas marathon while running on an injured hip. She left me in the dust last summer when we were riding the 62 mile Elephant Rock Bicycle Tour "together". A few months later, she completed the Copper Triangle--an 80 mile bike ride that covered three mountain passes deep in the Rocky Mountains. She's tough--and competitive--and lucky. She also happened to beat me in our last two games of put-put golf.

When Ashley saddled up on the four wheeler, sandwiched between a hairy dog and myself, I couldn't help but be incredibly attracted to her. I always think she's pretty, but the "hottness meter" peaks when she does something like this. These are usually the times when she feels the least attractive. In this case, I couldn't stop looking at her, and she barely let me take a picture because she FELT gross. This is a small example of how our feelings can be deceptive.

How often are we all deceived by our feelings? It may be something as simple as not feeling attractive, or it may be something as serious as not feeling worthy of a relationship with God. Many people don't feel forgiven; nor do they feel like forgiving others. It's easy to not feel like engaging your family in meaningful conversation. Perhaps you didn't feel like apologizing last time you really blew it. The sweat that turned to blood as it dripped down his face while he agonized in the garden shows us that Jesus didn't feel like going to the cross. Out of obedience, he submitted and carried on with the greatest rescue mission in the history of time.

Not only are feelings deceptive, but if we pay enough attention to them, they will eventually create a frustrating rut in our lives. Too often, we create behavior patterns that are centered around feelings instead of the unchanging truth of the Scriptures. If you are lacking love, joy, and peace, there is a good chance you may fall into this category.

Feelings come and go. Feelings change. The word of God is designed to be an anchor for our soul. The Scriptures don't contain suggestions; they are full of commands that should impact our daily decisions. The more we dive into His word, the more it will change our thinking. The more our thinking changes, the more our feelings will change. We have to start by believing what the Bible says and acting upon it whether we feel like it or not. This will stretch and grow us all. It's certainly not easy; but it is worth it. The more we do this, the more the frustrating rut will disappear and love, joy, and peace will appear. I think that's a trade worth making.

Something Good is Brewing...

I've stumbled upon a new hobby...It started with a fascination for heights as a young boy. I always made my mom nervous when Christmas rolled around because of my aggressive nature in hanging up Christmas lights on our steeply pitched roof. I liked the adrenaline rush that resulted from sprinting up a roof that I probably should not have been on in the first place. Not only did my mom endure the stress of having her son bounce around on the dangerous roof, but she also endured the ugly site of what the Christmas lights looked like after I had finished. Bless her.

I've always thought it would be amazing to rock climb, but I had never been intentional enough to make it happen-until a few weeks ago when my friend invited me to come climb at an indoor climbing gym. I thought it would be easy. After all, I have done thousands of pull ups during my wrestling career. How hard could it be to grab a rock and pull yourself up? I was wrong. And I was suprisingly nervous halfway up my first climb.

As I approached the top of the 80 foot wall, I began wondering if my harness was tight enough. For a man who enjoys heights, it was a strange feeling to be wrestling with fear at an indoor climbing gym. I eventually made it up the rest of the wall, and despite my sweaty palms and tired forearms, a love affair with climbing was starting to form in this heart of mine.

I did my first outdoor climb today at Garden of the Gods. It was amazing. I still wrestled some nerves while I was 110 feet above planet earth, but it's good for a man's soul to be challenged like that. Experienced climbers would probably smile as they understand I wasn't in grave danger, but this Kansas boy isn't used to this...We didn't go rock climbing for entertainment in Kansas; we went cow tipping. We didn't rapel; we played ding-dong-ditch em'. Despite the raw appearance of watching me scurry up the wall, I'm confident I will eventually become a decent climber.

I sat down at the end of the day, and I thanked God for allowing me to experience the thrill of rock climbing. I sensed the Father's delight. I realized that I didn't have to twist his arm to let me climb; instead, he was the one beckoning me. He spoke a sentence to my heart that reminded me of why I have a love affair with the God who created all this:

"I'll meet you on the rock. I have much to show you there."

This is going to be better than I thought.

American Heroes

My dad and I recently traveled to Philadelphia to watch the NCAA wrestling tournament. In addition to watching some great wrestling, we had the opportunity to visit Independence Hall. I had goosebumps as I stood in the very room where the Declaration of Independence and Constitution were signed. As I surveyed the room, I tried to picture what it must have been like in the summer of 1775 as some of the most courageous men in our nation's history met and discussed a strategy to gain independence from the British.

The actual room is relatively small and simple. The floors are hardwood and the walls are white. But the work that was done inside the room was anything but small and simple. Men like George Washington, Alexander Hamilton, Benjamin Franklin, and James Madison were among those who participated in the Constitutional Convention during that hot summer of 1787. They prayed, debated, presented, argued, paced, and sweated (windows were closed to ensure privacy) in this now famous room. They poured themselves into the work of developing a framework for our country's government. They were passionate, hard working, committed, strong, intelligent, and humble men. They would never know the full impact of their lives until they got to heaven.

The same could be said about the man standing beside me as we toured this historic site. I looked over at my dad and saw a look of delight on his face. He was standing in the room that he had spent 35 years teaching high school students about as an American history teacher. I wondered how many lectures he had given that were centered around the events that took place here. How many countless hours had he spent telling stories of Franklin, Washington, and Hamilton? More importantly, how many lives had he impacted as they passed through room 208 at St. Francis Community High School?

The founding fathers were impressive men. What they stood for and what they accomplished are a couple of factors that landed them on my list of personal heroes; albeit, they're below another great hero of mine-my own father.

Never A Dull Moment...