Marching Soldier Guy

Many teenagers experience their first real taste of power the day they dawn the red shorts and sling the lifeguard whistle around their neck. They are suddenly transformed from the sleepy, gangly kid who just slept through Algebra class to the most powerful person in the room.

Ashley and I recently took our girls to a funplex pool, and we had a great time watching Avery and Sophie splash away, go down slides, and chase each other around.  Not only did I enjoy watching them play, but I also found myself relatively amused by the intensity of one of the lifeguards. He wore a permanent scowl as he marched the shores of the baby pool in a manner that resembled a soldier guarding the “Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.” One thing was clear, this teenager was not to be messed with. He blew his whistle and yelled at one kid after the next for minor infractions.

Two Troublemakers

I wasn’t nearly as amused when I found myself on the receiving end of the lifeguard's wrath. The piercing shriek of the whistle nearly shattered my eardrums, and I turned around to see the scowl directed at me. This time it wasn’t from the marching soldier guy, but it was from a teenage girl who was equally as angry. You would have thought I had just been caught beating her dog with a stick, but my real mistake was simply trying to take Sophie down a slide. “No adults on the slide!” she growled.

A few minutes later, Avery and I were floating around the lazy river. We stopped for a few seconds to look at something when I found myself in the crosshairs again. Marching soldier guy blew his whistle, and with the fury of a New York City traffic cop, motioned for me to keep going.  I smiled as I continued to float along, thinking about how he still has a few things to learn regarding the true purpose of authority.

Please don’t misunderstand me, I am thankful for lifeguards. Most of them really do a nice job ensuring the safety of kids. There are others though who appear to receive too much pleasure from touting their power.

The whole scenario got me thinking about the importance of handling power and authority well. My mind flashed back to the scene where Jesus was gathered around the table with His disciples at the last supper, and He did something remarkable.

“Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.” (John 13:3-5)

Jesus was fully aware of his power, but he chose to humbly serve. The One who created all things got down on his hands and knees and did the work of a slave. He went from one disciple to the next, picked up their dirty, smelly feet and scrubbed them clean. What King does that?

In this moment, Jesus provided a great picture of how God uses His authority. The Scriptures make it abundantly clear that there is nothing more powerful than God; and yet, God always uses His authority for our good. He’s not like a teenage lifeguard who gets a thrill out of putting us in our place after every misstep. He’s not holding a paddle in His hand eagerly waiting to show us whose boss.

God has had to correct me countless times over the years, but I’ve been fascinated by how well He does it. There is a perfect blend of gentleness, kindness, strength, and consistency in His rebuke. He always speaks the truth, but He presents it in a way that’s easy to receive. His corrective words are saturated with love and grace.

Ultimately, I should seek to handle authority in the same manner. The way I handle my kids should resemble how God handles me. The way I lead people in the ministry should follow the example Jesus set.  God is looking for people who can handle authority, and when we prove ourselves trustworthy, we’ll be given more.

I want to encourage you to take some time and allow God to reveal how you’re doing in this area. Are you consistently using your power and authority for the good of others? Are you aware of what the people under your authority genuinely think about your leadership?

These may be tough questions to answer, but they are vitally important. My prayer is that we will all possess the courage to take a candid look at how we’re handling authority. 

And I pray for marching soldier guy to leave the poor kids alone.

The Day it all Changed

My life drastically changed four years ago today. On March 8th, 2009, God extended incredible kindness towards me and Ashley by blessing us with our first daughter, Avery Elizabeth. This blog is from the archives, but the message is as true as ever. 

Before Avery was born, I had several guys tell me that I would never be the same after my first child was born. They explained that there is something that happens in a man's heart the moment you get to hold your child for the first time. I found this to be true. It's hard to explain, but it is so true.

I think I was very prepared for the actual birthing process. After all, Ashley and I had spent the previous three months in strict training as we participated in a birthing class. We were there week after week perfecting our breathing skills. It was pretty exciting...and expensive.

On the morning of March 7th, Ashley woke up feeling sick and was experiencing abnormal pain in her side. We decided to take her to the doctor to find out if everything was ok. After an ultrasound, the doctor made the decision to induce. That was a wild moment. It dawned on me that I was going to be a dad within 24 hours. It was go time! 

Fast forward to 11pm...Ashley is strapped down to a rock hard hospital bed huffing and puffing, still looking beautiful, but huffing and puffing none the less. I was a focused man. I took a few deep breaths and began doing what I was trained to do. I told her she looked beautiful every eight seconds, reminded her to relax her eyebrows, and held her right leg in the air.

As prepared as I thought I was, in the heat of battle, I couldn't remember a few of the minor details. Was it "hee hawww whoooo" or "whooo heee hawww"? I couldn't remember, so I just went back to complimenting her beauty. It's hard for a man to go wrong by simply telling his wife that she is attractive. I've gotten a lot of mileage out of this simple truth-especially when she feels like a marshmallow and is trying to pass a bowling ball through a straw.

After a couple hours of continued labor (no wonder they call it labor; it sure wasn't easy doing my job), I saw a sight that will forever be etched in my memory. I saw the top of Avery's head. I got so excited that Ashley had to "shhhh" me. After all my elite training, I was losing focus. I was blowing it. The sheer excitement of seeing the baby crown was throwing me off. Ashley's rebuke forced me to get my head back in the game, and once again, I went back to telling her to relax her eyebrows and breathe.

Ashley did a phenomenal job delivering Avery. She was born at 3:41am. After she was born, we quickly placed her on Ashley's chest and they shared an incredibly powerful momma-daughter moment. Ashley grew up dreaming about this moment. She has always wanted to be a momma. She's never had big dreams to appear on the cover of magazines, build a successful business empire, or take the world by storm. She's always just wanted to have kids and love them well. In that moment, her dream became a reality. She looked great as a new momma, seriously.

At about 6:30am, the three of us were squeezed into this tiny hospital bed enjoying time together as a new family. A nurse entered the room, scooped Avery up, commented on her color, and quickly left the room. That was a little unnerving. Apparently, Avery's lips were abnormally purple and they rushed her off for tests. I had already been through a roller coaster of emotions, and now the story was taking a horrible turn in the wrong direction.

I still feel a twinge of pain in my heart as I remember seeing Avery for the first time through a glass window hooked up to all those different machines. I entered the room, leaned down next to her sweet little ears, and whispered, "Avery, it's daddy." A faint smile appeared on her face. My heart melted. I was confident that she recognized my voice. From the time we found out we were expecting Avery, we were intentional about talking to her. We sang to her, prayed for her, and affirmed our great love for her while she was in the womb. To this day, I am still convinced that she recognized her dad's voice in the midst of the beeping and buzzing of the medical instruments that surrounded her.

If you've read any of my previous blog posts you know that Avery's story didn't abruptly end in that NICU room. God's grace was apparent as Avery quickly began to show improvement. Her lungs eventually adjusted to breathing the fresh, but thin, Colorado air and they transferred her back to our room. In a matter of two days we were back in the comfort of our own home, starting family life as a tribe of three.

Looking back over the previous two (four now!) years brings a smile to my face. Avery has been quite the blessing to our family. I have learned more about the heart of God in the past two years than in my previous 28 years combined. God has been teaching me about His love. He's been teaching me how to love others. It's been a beautiful and rich process.

What better way to learn about the Father's love than to look into the eyes of your own child? It's hard to find words to describe my love for Avery. It's even harder to find words to describe God's love for me. The journey is sure to continue. The learning is sure to continue.

Happy Birthday, Avery. I sure love you.

45 Second Blog

This blog should take less than 45 seconds to read, but applying the simple truth presented could very well change the rest of your life.  I’ve seen it countless times in counseling sessions with clients, it’s surfaced in numerous conversations with friends, and I’ve even experienced it in my own life. It’s a trap that we fall into often, and it robs us of the life, joy, and peace that God offers. What is it?

Anxiety and fear over the future and shame and guilt from the past. 

These are the twin towers of the kingdom of darkness. When we take the bait, it’s just a matter of time before we experience the anxiety, fear, worry, and hopelessness that the enemy serves up on a daily basis. The fruit of constantly looking ahead or behind is bitter. There’s simply no life in either place.

God refers to Himself in Scripture as I AM. He is fully present with you in this exact moment. You have all that you need right now, because you have Him.  Getting the raise or promotion, spouse, diploma, new job, etc. may be nice, but it pales in comparison to what you have now--the I AM.

We must learn to trust God with yesterday and tomorrow, and fully embrace today. Simply put, God wants to hold your future, redeem your past, and love you today. 

I can't think of a better way to live.