Junk In The Trunk

We were a band of starving young men packed in a van like sardines traveling across the scenic state of Kansas. Our energy levels were low and are nerves were high.  Many of us hadn’t eaten a solid meal in a few days because we were cutting weight for a wrestling tournament that was scheduled for the following day.

Two months prior, I was twenty pounds heavier and enjoying college life. The wrestling season hadn’t started, so life was a breeze. I spent my days attending a few easy classes, eating fast food, and practicing my golf swing.  My nights were spent having fun with friends. I wasn’t exactly counting down the days until the start of wrestling season, and I certainly wasn’t looking forward to getting down to my weight class of 149 for the first tournament. 

The rules for this particular tournament were that you could weigh-in (no matter where you were) at 3pm on the day before the competition. This was a rare exception as most tournaments required you to be on site and weigh-in two hours prior to the start of action--all under the watchful eye of an official.

The few hours prior to a weigh-in always seemed like an eternity. I never felt like doing much, so I would often resort to staring at the clock while I dreamed of stuffing my skinny face with anything that resembled food. 

The clock seemed to slow down with every passing minute, but 3pm did finally arrive. One of the guys from the back of the van yelled, “Coach, pull over!  Time to weigh-in!”  We all agreed by shouting an emphatic, “Yes!!”

Coach realized the seas would turn stormy if he didn't feed us soon, but he also reminded us we were in the middle of nowhere. We conceded his point after we looked out the window to see nothing but telephone poles and a few scattered cows. We reluctantly agreed to wait until we arrived at the next town to set up the scale and weigh-in.

We spilled out of the van and barreled through the parking lot ten minutes later. We had decided to set up the scale in the McDonalds bathroom. Sure, it was an unusual place to  conduct a weigh-in, but we didn't care at that point.

The first to make weight would also be the first to enjoy a delicious Big Mac, so it was a race to get undressed (the added weight of clothes would surely doom a person on the scale) and be the first in line to weigh-in.

As the line was forming in the McDonalds restroom, an older gentleman opened the door and walked in. He was visibly surprised at the scene—clothes scattered all over the floor and ten grown men standing in their underwear. He couldn’t see the scale, and he certainly didn’t stick around long enough to find out what was really happening. He simply turned around and said, “I think I must be in the wrong place.” 

Within two minutes, we were dressed again and sinking our teeth into McDonalds goodness. While I was oblivious to most everything besides the food, I couldn’t help but notice the older gentleman staring at us. I’m not sure what was going through his mind, but I’m quite confident he had made a wrong assumption.

This story serves as a reminder that it’s easy to make a judgment without having the facts. How often do we make an assumption about something or someone without seeing the whole picture? After the assumption is established it’s just a matter of time before we separate ourselves from the person we’re judging. 

Jesus dealt with this issue head on as He said, “Do not judge, and you will not be judged.” (Matthew 7:1) As we heed His counsel, we’ll guard our hearts and steer clear from the bitterness trap that often accompanies casting judgment. 

My daughter, Sophie, is a little girl of immense joy. We actually changed her middle name ten months after she was born from Sophie Elizabeth to Sophie Joy. We couldn’t deny that God had given her an extra measure of joy, and we wanted her name to reflect what we saw in her.

I asked God a while ago if He would give me the same joy Sophie possessed. His answer came in the form of a still small voice as I heard: Gabe, part of the reason Sophie is joyful is because she doesn’t presume. 

He had my attention. Sophie possesses a childlike innocence because she doesn’t cast judgment and she doesn’t make assumptions about people. Her eighteen month old eyes see the best in others—except when her sister tries to take her toys, and she says, “NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOO!”

God proceeded to deal with me in regards to a few judgments I had made about another person. He said, They may drive you crazy, but I’m crazy about them. God understood my frustration with what I had seen in this person, but He was also asking me to withhold judgment. He was bringing me back to a place where I viewed that person as a child of God, and He was quick to remind me that He was working in their life. 

In essence, God was reminding me of the truth of what Jesus had spoken in Matthew 7: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? It requires a deep trust in God, but we must allow Him to be the judge. When we’re tempted to cast judgment and label someone, let’s instead look inward and allow God to work in our own hearts. This goes against the natural bent of our flesh, but Jesus wasn’t joking when He issued the command. 

We must also remember that God wants the best for us! He doesn’t want us to judge because He understands the damage it causes us. I heard a man say recently that unforgiveness (which often follows judgment) is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will suffer. 

It may feel good to cast judgment and think we’re right, but nothing good comes from allowing that junk to settle in our hearts.

Actually, it’s kind of like McDonalds goodness. 

It may taste good going down, but….

Q-Tips, Blind Spots, and Clean Caves

Jesus said, “Anyone who has ears, let them hear.” I can now hear clearly—thanks to my wife, Ashley. In fact, I think I may have the cleanest ears in town.

Before I got married, I rarely considered the need to clean my ears. I’m not sure I know any guys who wake up in the morning and say, “It’s time to clean my ears!”  I think it was also partially because God chose to strategically place my ears on the side of my head, and I really struggled to see inside the dark caves which led to my ear drums.

Because I couldn’t see it, I didn’t think about it. Whatever was happening inside my pinnas was out of sight and out of mind. This all changed after the first long road trip I took with my bride after we tied the knot.

She spent multiple hours sitting in the passenger seat staring at the side of my head. Her vantage point allowed her to see what I couldn’t see. A few days after we returned, she approached me and flashed a pretty newlywed smile, and said, “Would you let me clean your ears?”

So this is what happens when you get married, I thought to myself as I watched her dig for a few Q-Tips in the bathroom drawer. She looked so innocent and cute as she asked a second time; I couldn’t say no.

She was anything but cute as she drove that cotton swab deep in my ear like a miner digging for gold. I squirmed and cautioned her to please spare my brain cells as she embarked on her own efforts to dig to China (see previous entry).

When all was said and done, I was surprised by how well I could actually hear. I flashed my own smile and said, “I should have done that years ago! This is amazing.”

I have since graduated to the point of cleaning my own ears—most of the time—and I’m committed to spending the rest of my life with clean caves. I’m also thankful Ashley saw my blind spot and possessed the courage to show me a better way.

Isn’t it true that we all have blind spots? We all have areas of our lives that remain out of sight and out of mind. Perhaps we’ve grown so accustomed to the gunk that we assume our current way of living is normal. All the while, God sees our blind spots, and He desires to show us a better way.

The Apostle Paul writes to a young Timothy and states: “Keep a close watch on yourself.” This is trusted counsel.  In addition to inspecting our own lives, let’s take it a step further and grant God permission to reveal what we can’t see. Let’s possess the courage to pray the following prayer: God, show me my blind spots.

This is the prayer I prayed a while ago as I invited God to open my eyes to see where I was unknowingly missing the mark. He happily obliged, and I had an “Aha” moment the very next day. In essence, God revealed that I had slipped into a pattern of caring too much about what other people thought. I was becoming a people pleaser, and I didn’t even recognize it.

While it wasn't necessarily enjoyable to see an aspect of my life that needed to change, I also realized that a deeper level of freedom and joy were around the corner. I trusted that God was showing me a better way.

Which is why I didn't squirm too much as I sensed Him digging in the drawer for a few cotton swabs. He had some cleaning to do...

What We All Need

I think we were all in disbelief as we watched a dark and menacing cloud of smoke consume our city. It was a scene straight out of Hollywood. In what seemed like a blink of an eye, the Waldo Canyon wildfire, fueled by 65 mph winds and extremely dry conditions, hurdled the containment lines, skipped across Queen’s Canyon, and reared its ugly head for all in Colorado Springs to see. 

Photo: John Wark

The fire showed no sign of slowing down as it raced down the slope and began its devastation within our city limits. When the smoke cleared and all was said and done, the fire had killed two people, burned 346 homes, and forced 32,000 people to evacuate. 

While the community pulled together and demonstrated great resiliency—many are currently in the rebuilding process—a visual reminder of the devastation remains as a burn scar now replaces the once vibrant mountains. Trees are no longer clothed with life; they are scorched, naked, and resemble splintered toothpicks. Some of the cooked soil looks like it was carted in from the deepest regions of hell.  

I stood in the World Prayer Center this morning, joined by several other people who had gathered to worship and pray during New Life Church’s 21 Days of Prayer initiative, and watched the sun slowly rise and cast its beautiful light upon the mountains.

There was very little snow visible to the right or left of the burn area, but the scar itself had a layer of snow resting upon it. The snow looked like medicine from heaven covering the scorched earth and making the blackened soil appear beautiful. It was truly beauty from ashes--which is something God is quite good at creating.

The snow on the burn scar was a powerful visual of what God desires to do in our lives. He desires to place a layer of fresh snow on our scars! He wants to place His healing medicine on the parts of our hearts that have been burned. While the heavens didn’t open, nor did I hear a booming voice from above, It was still clear in my heart that God was speaking. In essence, He was saying, This is what I want to do this year. I want my love, kindness, grace, and healing to rest upon the scars of My people. 

God always has been and always will be a healer. He’s in the business of binding up the brokenhearted, proclaiming liberty to captives, comforting those who mourn, and creating beauty from ashes. (Isaiah 61)

He's worked wonders in my heart, and I'm deeply grateful for the healing I've experienced, but I also believe He's not done. He wants to bring about an even deeper level of healing and wholeness within me. He wants the same for you. God desires for you to taste of a freedom that leaves you speechless. An important aspect of this process is healing your scars--and I've never met anyone who doesn't have at least a few.

 I’m also aware of human tendency. When we experience pain, the last thing we want to do is allow anyone near it—including God. Our initial reaction is to bury it and hope it goes away. As nice as that would be, it's simply not reality. Our buried pain quickly works against us as it eventually hardens our hearts and makes us numb in certain areas. Unaddressed pain also creates a scenario where people often adopt dysfunctional behaviors because they are simply acting out their stifled emotions. This can lead to heavy chains of addiction and a plethora of other negative possibilities. It's easier said than done, but a much better option is to allow God to deal with our hurt.

But, isn’t God the one who caused the pain? Can He really be trusted? I’ve heard these questions several times in counseling sessions. Honestly, I’ve asked these questions myself in the past. While I don't have all the answers to the events that caused your pain, I do believe God is the life-giver, not the destructive thief.

He is the same God who gave His one and only Son for you. He’s the same God who endured the brutality of Roman crucifixion. He was cursed, spit upon, beaten, lashed, pierced with a crown of thorns, and eventually nailed to a cross--where many think He actually died of a broken heart.

And it’s through His suffering that we experience healing. He was broken so we can be made whole. This is the good news of the Gospel, and it’s available to all who open their hearts to Him—despite anything you’ve done.

I’m full of anticipation for 2013. I believe this will be a year where many people experience healing and wholeness.The price has already been paid; now it's time to receive what He purchased on your behalf. 

May we possess the courage to ask God to reveal the areas of our lives that need healing. Let's open our hearts and invite His healing hands to bring life to the places that need it the most. 

I think there's snow in the forecast. 

 

Digging to China, Surfing, and New Year's Resolutions

When I was a young boy, I had the idea of digging an extremely long tunnel. The starting point would be my backyard, and the finish line would be China. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face as I headed for the garage to pick up the shovel. My six-year-old brain had already plotted the course.

The plan was to dig several feet straight down, and then start heading west. I was optimistic that I could make it the fifteen miles to the Colorado state line. If I could make it that far, I reasoned, surely I could continue under the Rocky Mountains and through the under belly of California. If I made it that far, I said in my best Forrest Gump voice, I might as well keeeeep oooooon digging. Eventually I was slated to reemerge and breathe fresh air in China.  

I didn’t think through the details; I just started digging. I turned the earth’s soil for a few minutes—making it about 2.5 feet—before I started to realize the amount of work this endeavor was going to require.

I looked up a few moments later and saw my basketball lying next to my small dirt pile. I couldn’t resist. I dropped the shovel, picked up the ball, and proceeded to dribble through Jordan’s legs and kiss the ball off the backboard for the game-winning bucket. I hoisted the imaginary World Championship trophy in the air and pretended to be carried off the court (this is hard to do when you’re alone--thankfully I was alone).

A mere five minutes. That's how long it took me to forget about my dream of digging to China. I now had a new goal—playing in the NBA.

This is the time of year when we often consider goals. It’s a time to evaluate our lives and commit to making certain changes. I’ve already thought through a few of my own resolutions for the New Year, but I’m also aware that many of my previous resolutions haven’t exactly panned out.

I think many New Year’s resolutions follow the same general course as my dream of digging to China. It seems like a good idea at the time, so we commit to doing it. Then, we quickly realize that creating change requires hard work. After our initial enthusiasm begins to wane, we eventually give way to distraction and move on to something new.

Guilty as charged. I’ve made this mistake many times. I’ve also learned to go about goals and resolutions differently. In addition to jotting down a few things I’d like to see change, I’ve started asking God what He is up to in the upcoming year. God, what are you forming in me this year? What are you doing in my family? What are you building in my work?

Psalm 127 states, “Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” (v.1) I can testify to the truth of that statement. Instead of charging out of the gate with our new resolutions, let’s slow down and ask God what He’s doing. We can be certain that God wants to see change more than we do, and He is much better at making it happen than we are.

In John 15, we see Jesus instructing His disciples on an important subject—producing fruit.

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.” (John 15: 5-8, NKJV)

Aren’t all New Year’s resolutions designed to produce results? In essence, this is fruit. Jesus explains that true and lasting fruit comes from abiding in Him. When we take the time to stay close to Him, to listen to what He’s saying, and to cooperate with what He’s doing, we’ll see remarkable results.

God has told me multiple times over the past few years to pay attention to what He’s doing rather than to guess or act upon my own ideas. This is an important issue to Him. He knows exactly what He’s after, and He invites us to become co-laborers in His important work.

I went surfing for the first time a few years ago, and I’ll never forget the exhilarating feeling of riding the first wave. The power of the ocean beneath my feet was unforgettable. In order to experience this feeling, I had to understand the idea of co-laboring.

My responsibility was to locate the waves, position myself on the board, wait for the right timing, paddle like crazy, and eventually pop up and enjoy the ride. The ocean’s responsibility was to provide the power and momentum to make it all possible.

When we fail to seek God in regards to what He’s doing, it’s essentially like trying to surf without the waves. We can position ourselves on the board and paddle until our arms fall off, but it'll be in vain. The two most important elements of surfing—spoken as someone who grew up on the beaches of Kansas—are to locate the waves and stay in alignment with where they’re going.

Similarly, it’s important to know what God is doing and keep ourselves in alignment with where He’s moving. This is abiding in Him. As we do this well, we’ll find ourselves relying on His power rather than our own will power. We’ll experience the exhilarating feeling of moving in step with the One who has power over all things.

I asked God last night what He was doing in my marriage in 2013. He responded by giving me two words: patience and proactivity. I knew where He was going right away. He’s looking for me to be more patient with Ashley, to seek to understand before I’m understood. I also knew what He was saying in regards to being proactive. Ashley’s love language is “acts of service.” Scrubbing the kitchen floor is worth more than two dozen roses in her book. God was gently telling me to be more proactive in how I serve my bride.

I sat back and began pondering what I could do around the house. He interrupted my thoughts and said…

Start with the toilets.

Exhilarating.