Flying Upside Down

Sophie has a new favorite game. She’ll walk up to me, turn around, and say, “FWY ME!” I’ll proceed to grab her by the ankles and spin her around upside down while she lets out a cackle of a laugh. As much as she loves to fly upside down, she always has a tough time letting go and fully trusting that I have her.

The question on the table for her two-year-old-mind to consider is this:  Is daddy strong enough to handle me or do I need to use my own strength to ensure my safety? It’s pretty obvious that my hands are stronger and more capable than Sophie’s little fingers, but I can also relate with her hesitancy to release control.

There are areas of my own life where I sense the Father saying, Let go and trust Me. Place this in My hands. I’m essentially left to ponder the same question as Sophie: Is God strong enough to handle this, or do I need to maintain my white knuckled grip?

Jesus walked in perfect Sonship. He understood the strength, faithfulness, and love of the Father. If anyone had reason to take matters into His own hands, it would be Jesus. He was falsely accused, arrested, mocked, and nailed to a cross. And yet, He responded in the most amazing way.

He did not retaliate when He was insulted,
nor threaten revenge when He suffered.
He left His case in the hands of God,
who always judges fairly. (1 Peter 2:23)

He left His case in the hands of God. He trusted that God’s hands were strong enough to take care of Him. And if we back up a few verses, we read the following: He is your example, and you must follow in His steps. (1 Peter 2:21) In the same way that Jesus left His case in the hands of God, we are called to do the same on a daily basis.

Easier said than done?

I think it helps to ponder the following questions:

1.       Is God able to handle the issue?

2.       Does God care enough to intervene?
 

It goes without saying that God’s hands are stronger than mine. Consider the following truth from Scripture:

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand,
And marked off the heavens by the span,
And calculated the dust of the earth by the measure,
And weighed the mountains in a balance
And the hills in a pair of scales? (Isaiah 40:12)

God scoops up the oceans and holds them in the palm of His hands. As for me, I think I can hold about 8 ounces.

Yes, God is stronger and more capable than me. The more prevalent question is in regards to whether God will actually intervene? Does He care? Can we trust Him? Again, let’s back up and look at the preceding verse:

He will feed his flock like a shepherd.
He will carry the lambs in His arms,
holding them close to His heart.
He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young. (Isaiah 40:11)

The exact same hands that measure the oceans hold us close to His heart. The same hands that measure the expanse of the heavens are used to feed, nourish, and care for us. And these hands have been pierced on our behalf.

The holes in Jesus' hands demonstrate His faithfulness. Why would He endure the brutality of Roman crucifixion to then back away and become disengaged? The reality is that He cares about you more than you care about you, and because of this we can trust Him.

Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. (1 Peter 5:7 AMP)

I want to encourage you to pause and consider if there is anything you need to release today? Fear? Worry? Doubt? I believe God is beckoning you to cast your cares into His reliable hands. He wants you to release your feeble fingers and trust His grip.

Essentially, He invites you to fly upside down.

And I'm confident you'll enjoy the ride.

Ready, Set, Reset

Ashley and I celebrated our anniversary recently by dropping the kids off with friends and setting out on what was supposed to be a romantic date. The initial plan was to enjoy a nice meal at a fancy restaurant and then spend quality time together shopping for new decorative artwork.

A few hours before the date, I approached Ashley with what I thought was a solid proposition. “Ash,” I said with a sparkle in my eyes, “The best part of the evening will be spending time with you.” A big smile flashed across her face, and she leaned in with curiosity to hear what I would say next. “What do you think about forgoing the fancy restaurant and just going to Chipotle instead?”

She was visibly caught off guard, but she was also surprisingly open to the idea. “Think about it,” I continued, “Each place will have a table and food, but your company will be the highlight. Let’s save some money and go to Chipotle.”

I was off to a good start. She liked my idea, and we agreed to set sail for Burritoville. Upon opening the door and catching the initial whiff of Barbacoa goodness, we were disappointed to see the extremely loooooooooong line. We were both starving, but we decided to shop first. (A hungry man stepping foot into a home décor store is always a recipe for disaster)

While pulling into the Home Goods parking lot, Ashley commented on my seemingly absent driving skills. I was mildly annoyed—even though I couldn’t deny she was right—and I attributed my erratic driving to the fact that I was hungry. I quickly reminded her that the directions she gave me were also lacking. The next few minutes were chippy to say the least.

Once inside, I pointed out a few pictures that I thought we should consider for our living room wall. She dismissed my ideas before I could even finish my thought. You would have thought I had suggested we mount a dead hyena on the wall. She came back with one flower decoration after the next, so I finally said, “Please keep in mind that a man lives in the house, too.” (I'm outnumbered 3-1) She didn’t find my comment amusing.

 

My hunger pains were growing by the minute, so I picked up the pace. After briskly walking through the final few aisles, I said, “I guess we won’t find anything here. Let’s go eat.” I could see the disappointment written all over her face. Her expectations for our date were being crushed.  

The walk back to our romantic mini-van was a long, slow crawl. As we approached the date-mobile, I stopped and looked at my bride, reminded myself that we're on the same team, and said, “What do you say we hit the reset button and start over?”

After we each apologized, she grabbed my hand, squeezed my arm, and said, “Let’s go.”  We made it back to Chipotle, picked up our usual orders, and spent the next hour laughing and thoroughly enjoying each other’s company.

Thank God for the reset button. It saved our anniversary date, and it’s been a valuable tool in our marriage on more than one occasion.

Isn’t it easy to allow friction and tension to compound in relationships until each person is leaning away from the other? Like a snowball rolling down a hill, small issues become quite large in a matter of no time.  

In the meantime, the walls go up, the hypothetical mental conversations start (you think about what they’ll say next and proceed to prepare your response to what you’ll imagine they’ll say), and the agitation grows by the minute.

It will only get worse, unless we choose a better way.

The better way is God’s way. Doesn’t God hit the reset button all the time? Consider the following verse:

Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning. (Lamentations 3:23, NLT)

Each day is a new beginning in the eyes of God. It’s a clean canvas and a fresh start. I’m not saying there aren’t consequences for our mistakes, but God is not waiting to beat us up for yesterday’s shortcomings.  God is inviting us to receive his mercies each and every morning.

What if we turned around and applied this same mercy and grace to others? What if our relationships were afforded a fresh start on a daily basis? Wouldn’t the result be an infusion of life? The destructive snowball would screech to a halt and melt.

Sure, your spouse (or anyone you’re in close relationship with) will mess up again. It’s ok, because you will, too. This is why the Scriptures tell us to make allowance for one another’s faults. (Ephesians 4:3, NLT)

What’s not ok is if we fail to extend the same mercy to others that we receive for free.  It doesn’t end well for the unmerciful servant found in Matthew 18:

Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. (v. 32-34)

This is a danger we must bear in mind.

Along with the danger of arguing with a pregnant and nesting woman over her poor choice of artwork.

On a different note, we are expecting our first son.

Perhaps he’ll agree with me that the flower pictures are….

Reset.

Our Nesting God

Jesus replied, “When evening comes, you say, ‘It will be fair weather, for the sky is red,’  and in the morning, ‘Today it will be stormy, for the sky is red and overcast.’ You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times. (Matthew 16:2-3)

Perhaps Jesus could have added one more: “And when you see your furniture being rearranged multiple times, your wife is pregnant.”

Ashley is currently pregnant with our third child, and she is in all-out nesting mode. I’m never quite sure what I’m going to encounter when I get home at the end of the day. Last week she took our entire bed apart so she could place a new rug under it. Talk about some heavy duty moving for a woman with child.

I have asked her multiple times to cease the strenuous work of moving furniture while she is pregnant, but I’m learning she’s going to do it anyway. She seems to be driven by some sort of momma instinct to get the house in perfect order before the baby arrives. Her crowning achievement happened while she was nine months pregnant with Sophie—she could barely move and would waddle around the house—but she still managed to rearrange two heavy couches while I was at work.

The idea of nesting, while relatively unfamiliar to me, is so important. At its most basic level, it’s the intentional act of preparing the environment for the arrival of a child. Our baby boy inside the womb has no idea what he’s going to experience after he’s born, but Ashley works diligently to ensure everything is ready.

I think God operates in a similar manner. He knows precisely what His children are going to need in the next season of life, and He’s faithful to work ahead of us to ensure everything is ready. In other words, God is preparing the environment for our arrival.

Can you imagine how bizarre it would be if a baby in the womb was caught up in constant worry regarding the future? What am I going to eat once this umbilical cord is removed? Where am I going to sleep once I’m violently propelled from my cozy womb? It goes without saying that the baby doesn’t have to worry about it, because the parents are taking care of the details.

We can have complete confidence that God is taking care of the details of our future. He is working in ways that we may be blind to. In fact, I believe He smiles at what we can’t see. He’s preparing the job, house, spouse, etc. Why is it so hard for us to rest in the knowledge of this? When we work to manipulate and control our future, the results will always be the same—anxiety, stress, and frustration. God patiently reminds us there is a better way. He invites us to adopt a different posture—a posture of discovery.

God spoke to my heart a few years ago and said, Gabe, you have the joy of discovering your destiny, not controlling it. While I haven’t walked this out perfectly, it has made a lasting impact on how I view my future. I can trust that God has already prepared everything for me, and my role is to keep in step with Him and discover His plans.

Not only is God preparing the environment for you, but He’s also preparing you for the environment. We know how dangerous it is for a baby to be born too prematurely. A baby’s lungs have to develop before they are ready to handle the fresh air in their new environment.  In the same way, God is intentionally working to develop you for what He knows is coming.

When I have experienced seasons of discontentment and impatience, God has consistently reminded me that He is preparing me for the future. Like a horse standing in the starting gate before a race, I just want the bell to ring and the door to open. God, on the other hand, says, Sure, I want you to run, but let me get you ready.

There is peace available to each of us TODAY, but it requires trust. There is no other way around it. The same God who breathed the stars into existence is fully capable of preparing your tomorrow.

Rest. Be at peace.

Let’s leave the heavy lifting to Him.

Marching Soldier Guy

Many teenagers experience their first real taste of power the day they dawn the red shorts and sling the lifeguard whistle around their neck. They are suddenly transformed from the sleepy, gangly kid who just slept through Algebra class to the most powerful person in the room.

Ashley and I recently took our girls to a funplex pool, and we had a great time watching Avery and Sophie splash away, go down slides, and chase each other around.  Not only did I enjoy watching them play, but I also found myself relatively amused by the intensity of one of the lifeguards. He wore a permanent scowl as he marched the shores of the baby pool in a manner that resembled a soldier guarding the “Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.” One thing was clear, this teenager was not to be messed with. He blew his whistle and yelled at one kid after the next for minor infractions.

Two Troublemakers

I wasn’t nearly as amused when I found myself on the receiving end of the lifeguard's wrath. The piercing shriek of the whistle nearly shattered my eardrums, and I turned around to see the scowl directed at me. This time it wasn’t from the marching soldier guy, but it was from a teenage girl who was equally as angry. You would have thought I had just been caught beating her dog with a stick, but my real mistake was simply trying to take Sophie down a slide. “No adults on the slide!” she growled.

A few minutes later, Avery and I were floating around the lazy river. We stopped for a few seconds to look at something when I found myself in the crosshairs again. Marching soldier guy blew his whistle, and with the fury of a New York City traffic cop, motioned for me to keep going.  I smiled as I continued to float along, thinking about how he still has a few things to learn regarding the true purpose of authority.

Please don’t misunderstand me, I am thankful for lifeguards. Most of them really do a nice job ensuring the safety of kids. There are others though who appear to receive too much pleasure from touting their power.

The whole scenario got me thinking about the importance of handling power and authority well. My mind flashed back to the scene where Jesus was gathered around the table with His disciples at the last supper, and He did something remarkable.

“Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.” (John 13:3-5)

Jesus was fully aware of his power, but he chose to humbly serve. The One who created all things got down on his hands and knees and did the work of a slave. He went from one disciple to the next, picked up their dirty, smelly feet and scrubbed them clean. What King does that?

In this moment, Jesus provided a great picture of how God uses His authority. The Scriptures make it abundantly clear that there is nothing more powerful than God; and yet, God always uses His authority for our good. He’s not like a teenage lifeguard who gets a thrill out of putting us in our place after every misstep. He’s not holding a paddle in His hand eagerly waiting to show us whose boss.

God has had to correct me countless times over the years, but I’ve been fascinated by how well He does it. There is a perfect blend of gentleness, kindness, strength, and consistency in His rebuke. He always speaks the truth, but He presents it in a way that’s easy to receive. His corrective words are saturated with love and grace.

Ultimately, I should seek to handle authority in the same manner. The way I handle my kids should resemble how God handles me. The way I lead people in the ministry should follow the example Jesus set.  God is looking for people who can handle authority, and when we prove ourselves trustworthy, we’ll be given more.

I want to encourage you to take some time and allow God to reveal how you’re doing in this area. Are you consistently using your power and authority for the good of others? Are you aware of what the people under your authority genuinely think about your leadership?

These may be tough questions to answer, but they are vitally important. My prayer is that we will all possess the courage to take a candid look at how we’re handling authority. 

And I pray for marching soldier guy to leave the poor kids alone.

The Day it all Changed

My life drastically changed four years ago today. On March 8th, 2009, God extended incredible kindness towards me and Ashley by blessing us with our first daughter, Avery Elizabeth. This blog is from the archives, but the message is as true as ever. 

Before Avery was born, I had several guys tell me that I would never be the same after my first child was born. They explained that there is something that happens in a man's heart the moment you get to hold your child for the first time. I found this to be true. It's hard to explain, but it is so true.

I think I was very prepared for the actual birthing process. After all, Ashley and I had spent the previous three months in strict training as we participated in a birthing class. We were there week after week perfecting our breathing skills. It was pretty exciting...and expensive.

On the morning of March 7th, Ashley woke up feeling sick and was experiencing abnormal pain in her side. We decided to take her to the doctor to find out if everything was ok. After an ultrasound, the doctor made the decision to induce. That was a wild moment. It dawned on me that I was going to be a dad within 24 hours. It was go time! 

Fast forward to 11pm...Ashley is strapped down to a rock hard hospital bed huffing and puffing, still looking beautiful, but huffing and puffing none the less. I was a focused man. I took a few deep breaths and began doing what I was trained to do. I told her she looked beautiful every eight seconds, reminded her to relax her eyebrows, and held her right leg in the air.

As prepared as I thought I was, in the heat of battle, I couldn't remember a few of the minor details. Was it "hee hawww whoooo" or "whooo heee hawww"? I couldn't remember, so I just went back to complimenting her beauty. It's hard for a man to go wrong by simply telling his wife that she is attractive. I've gotten a lot of mileage out of this simple truth-especially when she feels like a marshmallow and is trying to pass a bowling ball through a straw.

After a couple hours of continued labor (no wonder they call it labor; it sure wasn't easy doing my job), I saw a sight that will forever be etched in my memory. I saw the top of Avery's head. I got so excited that Ashley had to "shhhh" me. After all my elite training, I was losing focus. I was blowing it. The sheer excitement of seeing the baby crown was throwing me off. Ashley's rebuke forced me to get my head back in the game, and once again, I went back to telling her to relax her eyebrows and breathe.

Ashley did a phenomenal job delivering Avery. She was born at 3:41am. After she was born, we quickly placed her on Ashley's chest and they shared an incredibly powerful momma-daughter moment. Ashley grew up dreaming about this moment. She has always wanted to be a momma. She's never had big dreams to appear on the cover of magazines, build a successful business empire, or take the world by storm. She's always just wanted to have kids and love them well. In that moment, her dream became a reality. She looked great as a new momma, seriously.

At about 6:30am, the three of us were squeezed into this tiny hospital bed enjoying time together as a new family. A nurse entered the room, scooped Avery up, commented on her color, and quickly left the room. That was a little unnerving. Apparently, Avery's lips were abnormally purple and they rushed her off for tests. I had already been through a roller coaster of emotions, and now the story was taking a horrible turn in the wrong direction.

I still feel a twinge of pain in my heart as I remember seeing Avery for the first time through a glass window hooked up to all those different machines. I entered the room, leaned down next to her sweet little ears, and whispered, "Avery, it's daddy." A faint smile appeared on her face. My heart melted. I was confident that she recognized my voice. From the time we found out we were expecting Avery, we were intentional about talking to her. We sang to her, prayed for her, and affirmed our great love for her while she was in the womb. To this day, I am still convinced that she recognized her dad's voice in the midst of the beeping and buzzing of the medical instruments that surrounded her.

If you've read any of my previous blog posts you know that Avery's story didn't abruptly end in that NICU room. God's grace was apparent as Avery quickly began to show improvement. Her lungs eventually adjusted to breathing the fresh, but thin, Colorado air and they transferred her back to our room. In a matter of two days we were back in the comfort of our own home, starting family life as a tribe of three.

Looking back over the previous two (four now!) years brings a smile to my face. Avery has been quite the blessing to our family. I have learned more about the heart of God in the past two years than in my previous 28 years combined. God has been teaching me about His love. He's been teaching me how to love others. It's been a beautiful and rich process.

What better way to learn about the Father's love than to look into the eyes of your own child? It's hard to find words to describe my love for Avery. It's even harder to find words to describe God's love for me. The journey is sure to continue. The learning is sure to continue.

Happy Birthday, Avery. I sure love you.

45 Second Blog

This blog should take less than 45 seconds to read, but applying the simple truth presented could very well change the rest of your life.  I’ve seen it countless times in counseling sessions with clients, it’s surfaced in numerous conversations with friends, and I’ve even experienced it in my own life. It’s a trap that we fall into often, and it robs us of the life, joy, and peace that God offers. What is it?

Anxiety and fear over the future and shame and guilt from the past. 

These are the twin towers of the kingdom of darkness. When we take the bait, it’s just a matter of time before we experience the anxiety, fear, worry, and hopelessness that the enemy serves up on a daily basis. The fruit of constantly looking ahead or behind is bitter. There’s simply no life in either place.

God refers to Himself in Scripture as I AM. He is fully present with you in this exact moment. You have all that you need right now, because you have Him.  Getting the raise or promotion, spouse, diploma, new job, etc. may be nice, but it pales in comparison to what you have now--the I AM.

We must learn to trust God with yesterday and tomorrow, and fully embrace today. Simply put, God wants to hold your future, redeem your past, and love you today. 

I can't think of a better way to live.

Coming Up For Air

Some of my favorite childhood memories occurred at the local swimming pool.  A typical summer day for me included riding my bike two blocks to the pool, chasing girls, playing “king fish”, and gorging myself on five cent Twizzlers.  I would arrive back at home just in time to watch consecutive reruns of “Saved by the Bell.” Life was pretty grand.  

It wasn’t all fun and games at the pool though; there was plenty of competition. I competed on our local swim team, so I spent many early mornings swimming laps and training for weekend swim meets.   

I was an average swimmer, but I enjoyed the thrill of competition. What I didn’t enjoy was standing on the starting block in front of everyone wearing nothing but a small Speedo. To make matters worse, our team colors happened to be light green, which did little to conceal any signs of bladder failure due to pre-race jitters.

My favorite stroke growing up was the breast stroke. It came natural to me, and it was the only race I had any shot at winning. My least favorite was definitely the back stroke. The only thing more embarrassing than wearing a Speedo was the way I looked in the water trying to survive on my back.  It was pitiful.  It’s still quite a scene anytime I try it. My arms flail wildly and I kick desperately trying to keep my head above water. I always feel like the lifeguards lean forward and watch me closely as if they are going to have to rescue me in a moment’s notice.  It’s not exactly the picture of graciously gliding through the water with ease.

I was swimming a few laps recently when I sensed God begin to teach me about the correlation between life and the breast stroke. There is a rhythm and grace required for each. I put my head in the water and propelled myself forward before surfacing and breathing much needed air. Then I would do it again and again. My head looked like a bobber as I developed a pattern of working and breathing. In addition, my eyes shifted back and forth between seeing above water and beneath the water.  I was essentially able to pay attention to two different worlds simultaneously.

I think this is vitally important to the Christian life. God is a Spirit, and so we are called to pay attention to the spiritual world—to who He is and what He’s doing. At the same time, we’ve been placed in a natural world where God has given us important responsibilities.  I believe He wants us to settle into a rhythm—similar to the breast stroke--where we simultaneously pay attention to the spiritual and the natural. We are aware of the needs of our family, relationships, businesses, etc., but we’re also attentive to what God is doing and saying in each of those specific worlds. 

Eugene Peterson, author of the Message Bible, made a profound point as he described one of the roles of a pastor is to “pay attention and call attention to ‘what is going on right now’ between men and women, with one another and with God.” I believe this is true of all Christians, not just someone who holds the office of pastor.  We are to pay attention and call attention to what is happening with God and with people (spiritual and the natural), and our attention should pulse back and forth between the two in rhythmic fashion.

The mistake many people make (including myself) is when we exclusively pay attention to the natural at the expense of the spiritual. This is easy to do because our responsibilities call—quite loudly—for our attention (crying babies, diapers that need to be changed, project deadlines, budget constraints, relational challenges,  tests to be taken and papers to be written, etc.). It’s easy to focus so much on what is before us in the natural that we lose sight of the encouragement and strength God offers through the spiritual. In a sense, it’s like trying to swim the entire length of the pool without breathing. We may make it to the other side, but we’ll be exhausted, worn down, and out of breath when we finally arrive.

How rich our daily lives would become if we walked in a cadence where we were mutually aware of the spiritual and natural. God invites us to pause throughout the day, breathe in his life and strength, and continue on with our work. He desires for our attention to shift back and forth between what He’s doing and saying and the work He’s placed in front of us. The two are designed to be more closely related than we may think.

I sat with a friend this week and listened to him describe how he had recently been on the verge of burn out before God began speaking to him about the importance of Sabbath and rest.  My friend had been trying to swim multiple laps without breathing, and this lifestyle was taking its toll on him.

As he began to walk in obedience by resting more, God started giving him Divine ideas for his business. He looked across the table, and with a look of pure excitement in his eyes, he said, “It’s amazing how much more I have accomplished since I’ve started resting! God is directing me in my work!”  He was learning how to come up for air, and you could see the renewal in his countenance.  

This is important because we have not been called to just swim a single lap. Life is more of a long-distance ocean swim, so we must settle in for the long haul. The world needs what God has placed within you, so steward it well by finding the right rhythm and cadence for your life.

My prayer lately has been that God would help me find the right balance of working and resting, and that He would help me pay more attention to what He's doing on a daily basis.  I want to make breathing fresh air a high priority. This is something I must be committed to for my own sanity and well being.

Along with never wearing a light green Speedo again.