Not As It Appears

I made a call this week to have the yard aerated. To be honest, I had no idea what benefit aerating the grass had, but I still made the call and wrote the check. I have since done some research and have learned that it's incredibly healthy for the soil. In a nutshell, it's the removal of soil plugs in order to increase the water, nutrient, and oxygen movement into the soil. Something had to be removed, so that something much needed could enter...More on that later.

A recently aerated lawn is an interesting sight. It looks like a person has neglected to clean up after their dog since the late 1990's. When I was a young boy, one of my weekly chores included going on "poop patrol."  I believe I became quite proficient at searching the yard--while watching my steps very closely--scooping, and disposing of the "treasure" in record time. I was good...Maybe that's why I never got fired from the job.

Very early on in my scooping career, I remember picking up a shovel and walking to the back yard only to see a sight that no eight year old pooper scooper wants to see. My parents had just had the lawn aerated, but to me it looked like every dog in a five mile radius had just left me a present. I stood there in disbelief. I glanced at the neighbor's yard to see if they were also the recipients of the dog party, but their yard was "poopless." How could this be? Was this some sort of bad joke? I was discouraged.

Now that I'm thirty, I look back and smile on that day. My lack of understanding of lawn aeration led me to believe that my eight year old life just got a lot worse. In reality, what I thought was a horrible sight was actually quite healthy for the yard--and good for me. I believe I dismissed myself of my duties that day claiming that I couldn't tell the difference between the dog's mess and the aeration. My initial reaction was clearly misguided.

That wasn't the last time my initial response to something has been off. I've noticed how easy it is to make an initial judgment on something thinking it's bad, and then placing the blame on God for causing it. When this happens it's just a matter of time before your heart grows hard towards the God who is crazy about you.

Several years ago, I had a relationship crumble around me. I was deeply invested into this relationship and thought it would most likely end in marriage. In the depths of my heart, I knew the relationship wasn't what God wanted, but I chose to ignore the truth and continue plowing forward. I'll never forget the pain in my heart as the two of us came to grips with the reality of breaking up for good. I was heartbroken. I was devastated. I literally took my phone and threw it across the room as I blamed God for breaking my heart. I lacked understanding. My initial response was way off, again. In this case, the relationship needed to be removed so that God could enter and have His way.

I took Avery on a daddy-daughter date a few weeks ago, and we enjoyed some seriously delicious meatball sandwiches (this time it was my pick!). I sat across the table from her and was taken aback by how her blue eyes were shining so brightly in the light. As we talked, laughed, and made a mess, I noticed a song that happened to be playing on the radio in the background. It was a song that reminded me of my former relationship. It was quite evident to me that the pain was long gone, and instead of anger at God, I couldn't stop praising Him. God knew what He was doing after all. All I had to do is look across the table and into the eyes of my daughter to be reminded of His faithfulness. I drove home and embraced my wife with a hug and kiss, and thanked God for being so patient with me.

Living with a hard heart is a miserable way to live life. It will rob you of experiencing the joy God created you to experience. Life can be rough. Life can seem wildly unfair. But I pray that you'll fight with every ounce of strength within you to maintain a soft heart. The Scriptures clearly state the importance of this in Proverbs 4:23: "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

The next time you are tempted to blame God for causing something bad in your life, I encourage you to pause and ask Him to give you true understanding into the situation. Remind yourself of God's nature. He is the life giver, not the thief. Fight the urge to run from God, and cling to Him. You'll be in good hands.

Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."